Don't depend on me to ever follow through on anything But I'd go through hell for you

So there are so many things in our life that we don't understand right? well one of those things is how people want you to listen to them, yet when you need them they can't be bothered. This was me feeling last night when i got into an argument and than became depressed. how many times have i looked at my phone and answered regardless of what i was doing? how many times have i listened to friends bitch and complain to me about petty things that seemed so simple? Though the one time it happens to me, the one time i need someone to listen to me and just be there not one of them would talk to me. not one would tell me where they were so i could just do what i needed to do. Though there was one he doesn't count because i ended up listening to him complain about shit that he needed to let out. how sad is that, the only time i needed someone, they all abandoned me. not one of them were there. I learned last night that i need to make better choices and i need to choose my friends better. I came close to loosing someone i love and it freaks me out, but she is still here in my life and for that i am grateful. I find it strange that she is the one steady thing in my life, and that no matter what she is always there. She really is my non-sexual life partner. We have formed a strange bond, not that of lovers but that of family, i spoke of her in my last blog, and i feel i need to explain it more because i am barely seeing the dept of our relationship. I think normally, people who become this close and have this form of bond become intimate, yet we aren't. People in our situation fall in love, yet we aren't, at least not the kind i mentioned. She is my world and my life and my best friend. I know now why i am single, and it's no one's fault but my own. I'm scared that if i start seeing someone the friendship we have built will fade like so many others have and i will not spend the time i do with her. Scary huh? I don't care for now it is good, she is my boyfriend, my best friend, and my life. From a "fag" to his "hag" I love you.

Happy Thoughts...


P.S.
This is something i thought of about Teresa and I.
Also i won't do this often