Ridiculous Thoughts....

So these are the days are supposed to be the best days of my life, yet I can't help feel like I'm enjoying them less and less everyday. For instance I happen to be in love with a breeder at the moment, and though I have said time and time again that it's bad, I have gone on and done it anyways. The reason my followers that it is wrong, is because when they date a girl you fell like shit. Currently the object of my affection is being all "lovey-dovey" with his ex, who has no intention of getting back with him. Ever! It is a pain that I cannot tell him how she is and save him all the suffering he is going to go through.

I feel odd at the moment because she is all over him, and I know, I KNOW, she knows I have feelings for him. This is bad because she is pretty much all over him to get at me for some odd reason. I have kept my distance and allowed him to do as he pleased, I haven't come on to him or anything but I hope he somehow decides he likes men and I'm the perfect man for him. This is such unbearable pain no words can describe how I feel. I want to kick her out, I want to STAB her and I want her to fall off a building. Maybe this irrational but it's how I feel about the whole thing.

Anyhow I'm going to continue with my drinking to try and drown out my feelings...also not a good thing followers. And as they make out I got to the bottle to drown out the feelings I cannot hold in forever.