Sitting, Waiting, Wishing...

I don't think I'm going to start today's post with a question, mainly because I couldn't think of one, and because I don't feel the need to ask you anything. If there is a you. Who are you? Well I guess that was my question, anyhow a lot is going on in my mind at the moment, far too much for me to really understand and process. Mayhap it's because I'm crazy and need constant drama in my life, or maybe it's because I see things in a different light, either way my thoughts are beginning to consume me.
Recently, things have not been running as smooth with the boyfriend as I would have hoped, I guess it has something to do with us living together, or maybe it's because I'm a complicated fucking order, who knows. I do know however that I need certain things from a relationship, things that can't be bought or sold... unless you're a sex worker. To cut to the chase, I haven't felt that intimate with him in some while, and when we do go that special place it feels forced on his end, like he's over it.
Now again, this is most likely because I am crazy and full of drama, but then again to me it's a real issue. For example, I know it's not because he doesn't have the need to be intimate, I walked in on him being intimate with himself. I normally don't have a problem with masturbation, I think it's a very healthy human activity, but when you have a boyfriend who is ready and willing, and you choose to beat off everyday I think it's kind of jacked up... no pun intended.
So that's what's going on with the boyfriend, and besides that little annoyance things are going well. His mother hates me for something I'm not even sure I did, and living here can be uncomfortable at times, but I guess in all it's worth it.
At work I am trying to get myself promoted, I want more money and better hours so I've been working my ass off. Not to mention that we just lost two people and I am now a trainer taking on three apprentices. At the moment I am feeling really weak, I don't think I have enough strength to keep writing so I'll end on that. Hope y'all are doing better than me.

Happy Thoughts...